A part of me desperately seeks out new relationships. Even mistreatment is more tolerable than temporary solitude for Borderlines. But the feeling of being continually victimized by others completely overwhelmed me and I became more and more introverted. Still, sometimes when I am alone I long for someone to save me from my own thoughts that fills the silence of my bedroom.
When it comes to friendships, in the
relentless search for a structured role in life she is subconsciously attracted
to- and she attracts- others with personality disorders. She craves closeness because the threat of
distance imitates the sense of abandonment we felt as a child. She caroms back and forth from clinging
dependency to manipulation, from outpourings of gratitude to intense anger.
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