Just as the borderline perceives acceptance as conditional, so rejection can also be seen this way. If I were only attractive enough, smart enough, rich or demanding enough I would get what I want.
Adjusting to a world that is continually inconsistent and untrustworthy is a major problem for us. Our universe lacks pattern and predictability. Friends, jobs and skills cannot be relied upon. I have to test and retest all of these aspects of my life; I am in constant fear that a trusted person or situation will change into the total opposite absolute betrayal. Experience has taught me this is always a likely outcome. A hero becomes the enemy; a perfect job becomes the bane of existence. Our need for reassurance is insatiable. We fear that support will be withdrawn the moment we cease to please.