"True
life is lived when small changes occur." - Leo Tolstoy
As I grow older,
I mellow out to some degree. Impulsivity,
mood swings, and self destructive behaviors seem to diminish in dramatic
intensity. My family has adjusted to my
erratic actions over time and doesn’t notice or respond to outrageousness as
much. Maybe because I have settled into
a more routine lifestyle that no longer requires periodic outbursts to achieve
my needs.
With age a lot of
us lose our energy to maintain the frenetic pace of borderline living. Or perhaps there is a natural healing process
that takes place for some of us as we mature.
In any event, those sharing a life with us can expect our behaviors over
time- maybe a very long time, and sometimes without treatment- to become more
tolerable. At this point the
unpredictable reactions become more predictable and therefore easier to manage,
and it becomes possible for us to learn how to love and be loved in a healthier
fashion.
“The
changes in our life must come from the impossibility to live otherwise than
according to the demands of our conscience, not from our mental resolution to
try a new form of life.”
-Leo
Tolstoy
Things sure do change with age, I think sometimes mine seem to get worse and other times they seem to get better. Life in general is just full of so many ups and downs. Thank you Joy for being here, for sharing your story here and on twitter. I consider it a true honor to call you a friend and a pleasure to know and chat with you.
ReplyDeleteSharing your story helps you heal and helps us too.