Just as the borderline perceives
acceptance as conditional, so rejection can also be seen this way. If I were only attractive enough, smart
enough, rich or demanding enough I would get what I want.
Adjusting
to a world that is continually inconsistent and untrustworthy is a major
problem for us. Our universe lacks pattern and
predictability. Friends, jobs and skills cannot be relied
upon. I have to test and retest
all of these aspects of my life; I am in constant fear that a trusted person or
situation will change into the total opposite absolute betrayal. Experience has taught me this is always a
likely outcome. A hero becomes the enemy; a perfect job becomes the bane of
existence. Our need for reassurance is
insatiable. We fear that support will be
withdrawn the moment we cease to please.
